Hey There...

Been a very interesting week here in the Healing Home as I call it. I have created as peaceful of an environment as I can to encourage healing.

I have been nauseated and had a constant migrainish headache that would not go away. I had to pull out all the stuff in my arsenal, and still, was feeling punky. When I saw the doc on Wednesday, he tweaked my meds that he had tweaked the week before. Today, I woke up feeling better. Hooray! The other little thing MoFo threw at me this week is my hair falling out by the handfuls, and not just where they are radiating. It feels like someone is constantly pulling my hair all over my scalp. I cut my hair last night to shoulder length, 6 inches off, hoping the extra weight loss of hair might calm things down a bit.


On the bright side, it is sunny, there is no snow, it is Friday, I am 15/30 treatments down after my treatment this morning, I am alive, I am home and I am with my pets. Yesterday, Christine surprised me when I was waiting for the cab. She dropped by real quick with some potted Gerber Daisies for me. The perfect size to put on the little table next to me when Henry and I sit on the front porch. They add that perfect little spring pop of color right next to me. I am also enjoying watching the birds come to the bird feeder out in the back yard. The cats love it too, it is cat tv for them.

So, the ketosis diet continues. It is not difficult to maintain, or stay on at all. I admit, I did fall off the wagon last night. Someone, I don't know who, but I know for sure it wasn't me, left a half eaten container of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food in the freezer. Now, everybody knows when you are having a super sucky day, Ben and Jerry are some of the best friends a person can have. Needless to say to who ever left the container in there, it is gone, but not wasted, worry not! Ben and Jerry and I had an awesome reunion. Thank you benevolent anonymous person.

But back on the keto wagon I go today! Now, I have been making some recipes from what I find on the internet, and some, I make on my own, or some I look at on the internet, and think, (yes, I used the word think) I could make it taste better, so embellish away I begin. It is good to be able to slowly get my skills back as far as speed goes. And, I can have two pots on the stove, or one pot and something in the microwave or oven, at the same time! Not something I was able to do when I first came home. One pot meals were my thing.

I made some Pad Thai this week using spaghetti squash.It was not hard to make. If a woman  who had brain surgery and is undergoing radiation and chemo treatments can make it, anyone can make it, it is not difficult. It was so good, the first and second time, but it makes a lot so by the third time, I got kind of tired of it. I threw in a stripped, cooked chicken breast as well. And I did not add one of the heads bok choi, and doubled the sauce. I would triple the sauce to make it more like the original Pad Thai, and the peanuts on top and the cilantro really add to the flavor of the dish.  I think the recipe could easily feed a family of 4. So, remember all my hints when you go to the link to make this recipe. http://paleogrubs.com/spaghetti-squash-noodle-recipe

For you vegetarians, add the extra head of bok choi, but still triple the sauce.

Well, off I go to fry MoFo! Damn the torpedos! Tawanda! Burn, baby, burn!

A few more introductions

I have been blessed to have surrounded by awesome people on my care team since this whole thing started in earnest on February 27th. Okay, maybe while sitting on a gurney in the Emergency Department with a security guard and a man walking around with an open wound on his hand, wondering why the guy didn't fight fair, and "Papi, I have to pee". After the diagnosis was delivered, this is the scenario that ensued. If  I had been focused solely on that particular experience, I do not think I would be positively facing this disease with the forthright determination, diet, exercise, prayer, meditation, yoga, and hope.

From the nurses at UMASS, to the staff at Fairlawn Rehabilitation Hospital, to the staff, to the people that take care of me at home from Century Homecare. I have two nurses, one week day nurse, Janice, and one weekend nurse, Joe. I also have a physical therapist, Fran, an occupational therapist, Sue, and a speech therapist, Dave. I had an awesome experience this weekend, when Joe showed up on Saturday. I was feeling rather emotional when Joe showed up, and just plain old frustrated. My nurse Janice is a clone of me before I had brain cancer and advocated for clients when I worked at the group home. She gets things done. I love that about her. She is also compassionate, and like me, just the right amount of naughty. Sue is so supportive and encouraging. I even hear from her via text during the weekend if she runs into something she thinks I would find interesting. Fran doesn't take no for an answer and keeps me moving as per my request in the early days. Dave helps me to focus, find ways to concentrate (still working on that, thanks surgery, chemo and radiation I have the attention span of a 5 year old most times) These people are my team.

I asked Joe what he did during the week. That is when he told me he is going to school during the week. I asked what he was going to school for. That is when I found out that he was going to school to become a prison pastor. I was so impressed by his compassionate heart to go into the ministry, but prison ministry specifically. We talked and he asked if he could pray for me. I said yes. I was so glad he prayed. It was calming, it was confirming. I started the Course of Miracles Saturday night. A friend brought over the book shortly before I was diagnosed. Granted with the blurry vision right now, reading is not easy, but I am persevering. Maybe only being able to do it in small chunks at a time is good, this way I have to take it in more, be more aware, me more mindful?

Sunday, he showed up and he told me, "you know, I prayed for you all night." then he gave me a little homily if you will about being open to being in the presence of God, and when Jesus came and walked among the disciples, and sat down and ate with them and then disappeared. And it wasn't until afterward that they realized who it was walking with them. "You never know what, I want you to concentrate on your relationship with God. The miracle will happen. Concentrate on your spirit and your soul. Keep doing what you are doing with your diet and medicine. Most importantly, know you are never alone. He is here with you every step of the way, even when you lay in that radiation machine at the hospital, He is right there holding your hand." He prayed again, and assured me that we would pray for me every day. He prayed again and then he left. 

In Perseverance, Hope, Faith and Love,

I am a glass half full kind of girl. Always looking for the silver lining. First things first, it is Wednesday and it is time to tell Mother Fucker to take a long hike off a short pier and never return. Remember team, we are wearing purple on Wednesdays.

Awesome things that have happened since I started chemo and radiation. One: my oldest son has these friends who used to be over at the house all the time when they were in high school. Turns out, their mom is one of the nurses who draws my labs. I get an honest to goodness, genuine, love hug every Tuesday. Thanks God, for taking care of that for me. I have not yet found the medical marijuana that I am seeking. However, I did find some stuff from a medical grower that really does help with the headache and nausea at a much faster rate than 45 minutes to an hour waiting to see if it works. Still seeking the tumor killing stuff, I have not given up. Super Lemon Haze and Terry Sheppey are the two tumor killing strains. Other strains that are very helpful are Grape Ape and Wi-Fi. If you know anyone that might be able to get these specific strains, please put them in touch. I get to see my son, and meet his fiance. She is a very nice young lady, they seem very happy together, and comfortable. I feel bad that I have to meet her at such a trying time. The sun has been shining. No more snow, I was beginning to wonder if I was in the movie Groundhog for awhile, every day seemed the same.

I am getting stronger, I can make it to both corners now when I go on a walk.I think the food diet helps, and filling the protein gap and strong nutrients. Hoping to push past that marker and make it around the block by next week. Small goal, to most. Huge to me. If you happen to see someone physically struggling or moving slow, offer them encouragement or assistance in my name please. They are doing the best they can, pay if forward.

My right leg has started to have spams again. It bothers me. I will tell the nurse this morning. I will contact the neuro-oncology doc this morning and tell them and see what they say.

Meanwhile, Die, Mother Fucker, Die!

Sick and tired of cancer already

Day three full assault

So, I tried creating a playlist, power songs to inspire me while I undergo radiation. I went to my old playlist and for some reason, I can't open it. I don't know how. Then a friend came over and said, "well it is a new battle, maybe the universe is telling you it is time for a new playlist?" Wise, grasshopper. And then I remembered, "hey, I can use Amazon Prime" and download free music there and make a playlist because the hospital has wi-fi.(Big deal to remember something I just learned, look at me go.) i pick out my playlist, starting with Alicia Keys, Super Woman, followed by Girl on Fire - a little radiation humor. The techs looked at me like I was morbid when that came blasting out of my ihome speaker.  So, right up until I walk into the radiology room, I have service, then kaput.Turns out as long as you have service you have your Prime Library available to you, but not on your device, you have to buy those songs for that to happen. Silly girl.  I have been forced these last two days to focus on the following two mantras during radiation "Die Mother Fucker, Die" and "Cells, heal yourselves". I have been so hyper focused on those two mantras that I come home exhausted and need a nap, which is throwing off my sleep schedule at night. Which leads me back to my original problem, creating a playlist that I can listen to while getting zapped that I have already paid for the music or it is on my computer. Once I figure this problem out, I am going to figure out how to get pictures from my phone to my blog so I can start showing you all how I am cooking my way out of this friggin situation and give you recipes to boot. 

I can't be off at night, cause I need to get up in the morning in time to do all my stuff and fit in all the home visits before I go to battle. Other than the battle weariness, I am doing okay. The ketosis diet is going well. I follow the menu exactly, food still tastes good, and I am eating regular portions.The chemo has helped cut down the steroid munchies, and the medical marijuana helps the appetite stay in balance, as well as assisting in nausea and headaches. I am looking for a particular strain that has been shown to obliterate the type of tumor I have in combination with radiation and chemo This has not been done without the use of all three. I have seen peoples scans. Typically only, growth is stopped for awhile and then you need more treatment.  I have my medical marijuana card but there are no dispensaries in Mass yet. I cannot get it delivered legally from a dispensary out of state. If you think you might be able to be of assistance, please contact me directly, thank you.

Okay, gotta get ready to rumble. Do my exercises before I go, shower and all that good stuff. 

More Introductions

Today, I was fortunate enough to be fitted with a nifty new head piece. For my tiara crowd, you are not getting one. It was a bit unnerving, a lot unnerving actually. But what seemed to get me through today was the mantra of Die, Mother Fucker, Die. That is what I have named my tumor, Mother Fucker. I have never really cared much for the saying as it is, but in this particular case, I think it is rather appropriate.

By the time I arrived home, I thought my head might explode. Just a lot to process. I made myself a cup of tea, burned some sage, did some yoga, and then the pt guy, Fran came. I rode my bike, we went for a walk, one house further than I did yesterday. Progress. I'll take it.

The ketosis diet is working out really well. I feel good, the recipes have been tasty, and I have been full, which is saying something when you are on steroids. It is nice to be in charge of something again, what I put into my body. Tonight's fun discoveries have been fried cheese and tumeric tea.

Queso Fresco (fried cheese)
Ingredients - 1 lb. Queso Fresco (or Paneer Cheese if Queso Fresco is not available) - 1 Tbsp. Coconut Oil - 1/2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
Instructions 1. Cut cheese into cubes, or thin rectangles. 2. Bring 1 Tbsp. coconut oil and 1/2 Tbsp. olive oil to high heat in a pan. 3. Once the smoke point hits, add your cheese. Let it cook until browned on one side and then flip over and do the same on the other side. 4. Remove from pan and drain excess grease on a paper towel.

and

Tumeric Tea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgF1cnKdcs

Today was not the easiest, but it wasn't the hardest either.

Meanwhile, Die Mother Fucker, Die.