So, I tried creating a playlist, power songs to inspire me while I undergo radiation. I went to my old playlist and for some reason, I can't open it. I don't know how. Then a friend came over and said, "well it is a new battle, maybe the universe is telling you it is time for a new playlist?" Wise, grasshopper. And then I remembered, "hey, I can use Amazon Prime" and download free music there and make a playlist because the hospital has wi-fi.(Big deal to remember something I just learned, look at me go.) i pick out my playlist, starting with Alicia Keys, Super Woman, followed by Girl on Fire - a little radiation humor. The techs looked at me like I was morbid when that came blasting out of my ihome speaker. So, right up until I walk into the radiology room, I have service, then kaput.Turns out as long as you have service you have your Prime Library available to you, but not on your device, you have to buy those songs for that to happen. Silly girl. I have been forced these last two days to focus on the following two mantras during radiation "Die Mother Fucker, Die" and "Cells, heal yourselves". I have been so hyper focused on those two mantras that I come home exhausted and need a nap, which is throwing off my sleep schedule at night. Which leads me back to my original problem, creating a playlist that I can listen to while getting zapped that I have already paid for the music or it is on my computer. Once I figure this problem out, I am going to figure out how to get pictures from my phone to my blog so I can start showing you all how I am cooking my way out of this friggin situation and give you recipes to boot.
I can't be off at night, cause I need to get up in the morning in time to do all my stuff and fit in all the home visits before I go to battle. Other than the battle weariness, I am doing okay. The ketosis diet is going well. I follow the menu exactly, food still tastes good, and I am eating regular portions.The chemo has helped cut down the steroid munchies, and the medical marijuana helps the appetite stay in balance, as well as assisting in nausea and headaches. I am looking for a particular strain that has been shown to obliterate the type of tumor I have in combination with radiation and chemo This has not been done without the use of all three. I have seen peoples scans. Typically only, growth is stopped for awhile and then you need more treatment. I have my medical marijuana card but there are no dispensaries in Mass yet. I cannot get it delivered legally from a dispensary out of state. If you think you might be able to be of assistance, please contact me directly, thank you.
Okay, gotta get ready to rumble. Do my exercises before I go, shower and all that good stuff.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
This is a cross post from my caringbridge page, kind of says everything I need to get out for right now.
Tonight, I start chemo.
The war is on.
Raise the war cry!
Words are powerful. Very powerful. Thought and intent are also very powerful. Through the ages, people have used words when making a proclamation, whether it be in love, loyalty, forgiveness, friendship or war.
Brain cancer needs an army to fight. I am leading the charge and I am asking each of you to please suit up and join me. On Wednesday, April 15th at 2 pm EST, please be wearing purple and raise your war cry against this brain tumor.Your war cry can be a prayer, http://biblehub.com/joel/3-9.htma .In terms of realism, this has some ground as traditional and even some current practitioners of martial arts hold the belief that accompanying statements and/or vocal noises alongside execution build up their chi, thereby increasing the power and efficacy of their moves and techniques. Put less spiritually, saying a phrase at the right time during an attack ensures proper breathing. A call used for this reason is known as a kiai. The naming of attacks also served a more practical purpose as many martial arts schools, Chinese ones in particular, used to be secret societies. The passing down of techniques was done orally and giving them esoteric names often facilitated this transmission. In addition, kiai has the potential to startle the opponent and give you an opening. (tvtropes.org) I personally will be using a more Bruce Willis, Die Hard approach, "Yipee Kai Yay, Die Mother Fucker Die". Not very lady like, whatever, this is war and I have had enough cancer in my life already. My girls picked purple, I don't know why, but Wednesdays are purple days and it just works. I am going to do the first battle alone. I will reassess after the first battle. But I feel like I need to face this one on one for the first time. I am going to "put up my dukes and get down to it". There is only room for one of us in my head, and I am not leaving.
To continue the war cry, the treatments are Monday through Friday at 11:15 EST for the next 6 weeks. The first one is the only one scheduled for 2. And we wear purple on Wednesdays.
Tonight, I start chemo.
The war is on.
Raise the war cry!
Words are powerful. Very powerful. Thought and intent are also very powerful. Through the ages, people have used words when making a proclamation, whether it be in love, loyalty, forgiveness, friendship or war.
Brain cancer needs an army to fight. I am leading the charge and I am asking each of you to please suit up and join me. On Wednesday, April 15th at 2 pm EST, please be wearing purple and raise your war cry against this brain tumor.Your war cry can be a prayer, http://biblehub.com/joel/3-9.htma .In terms of realism, this has some ground as traditional and even some current practitioners of martial arts hold the belief that accompanying statements and/or vocal noises alongside execution build up their chi, thereby increasing the power and efficacy of their moves and techniques. Put less spiritually, saying a phrase at the right time during an attack ensures proper breathing. A call used for this reason is known as a kiai. The naming of attacks also served a more practical purpose as many martial arts schools, Chinese ones in particular, used to be secret societies. The passing down of techniques was done orally and giving them esoteric names often facilitated this transmission. In addition, kiai has the potential to startle the opponent and give you an opening. (tvtropes.org) I personally will be using a more Bruce Willis, Die Hard approach, "Yipee Kai Yay, Die Mother Fucker Die". Not very lady like, whatever, this is war and I have had enough cancer in my life already. My girls picked purple, I don't know why, but Wednesdays are purple days and it just works. I am going to do the first battle alone. I will reassess after the first battle. But I feel like I need to face this one on one for the first time. I am going to "put up my dukes and get down to it". There is only room for one of us in my head, and I am not leaving.
To continue the war cry, the treatments are Monday through Friday at 11:15 EST for the next 6 weeks. The first one is the only one scheduled for 2. And we wear purple on Wednesdays.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Another key player in this Kick Cancer's Butt, Henry
I got my little guy when he was 8 weeks old. I had lost two golden retrievers within a 4 year time span. I missed having a dog so much, but knew that I needed a guy that was going to be easy maintenance and easy going to boot. I loved the idea of having a puppy, so I decided get a dog that stays the size of a puppy, looks like a stuffed animal, is easy to train, hair not fur so one is allergic to him, playful, yet gentle.
This is Henry coming home from the kennel.
This is Henry coming home from the kennel.
Henry is now in all senses of the word, a therapy dog. I used him as a therapy dog many times over the years with clients. Never did I realize, I was training him to work with me. The thought never crossed my mind that this little fellow and I, who are a team, would ever need one another as much as we do. He follows me around during the day. Reminds me to rest when I am doing too much. Get fresh air for a little bit even if we can't go for a walk we can be on the front porch or back deck. He deliberately does things to make me laugh like throwing his toys around, greets each visitor with a tail wag. He has also been working on his inside voice. He has almost mastered the soft woof when someone is at the door.
Just waking up from a nap mom, geez
Started my morning off with yoga, a great way to get going. Then I did some housework, well, limited, but still did some housework while the home health aide was here. Still on the ketosis diet and loving it. The idea is to starve the tumor of glucose in conjunction with chemo and radiation to give myself the best odds possible. Today was a bacon, cheddar mug muffin. When it came time to make lunch, I pulled out a knife that I love to use. It was dull. Okay, no problem, I remember how to sharpen a knife. I get out my little gizmo. I start running the blade through the area and these little red "wheels" are supposed to spin. I can't get the wheels to spin. It is a small wrist motion, that is connected to your forearm that connects to your bicep, then you do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around. Oh shit, this is going to be harder than I thought. So, I give out a shout "Oh no you don't Mother Fucker! I am going to sharpen this knife and then I am going to eat at YOU but not for you!" Very determined and focused and longer that it normally takes, that knife is sharpened. Perseverance and determination got the job done. Using that right arm of mine that I am attempting to rehab as well.
Once I was sitting down and successfully eating lunch, I got to thinking. Always a dangerous phrase for me, "I got to thinking..." I feel fortunate that I was able to locate this information about this type of diet working for brain tumor patients, that I am able to prepare the food, that I am able to stick with the diet, and that I didn't have to do any of the planning, it is already done and the recipes are tasty.
Wednesday is the big day. The first radiation therapy will be at 2 pm. After that, they will be at 11:15, Monday through Friday for the next 6 weeks. Today, I am working on a power playlist to listen to while the radiologist zaps Mother Fucker.
Okay, merrily my little dog and I go on our way...
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
More Introductions
Today, I was fortunate enough to be fitted with a nifty new head piece. For my tiara crowd, you are not getting one. It was a bit unnerving, a lot unnerving actually. But what seemed to get me through today was the mantra of Die, Mother Fucker, Die. That is what I have named my tumor, Mother Fucker. I have never really cared much for the saying as it is, but in this particular case, I think it is rather appropriate.
By the time I arrived home, I thought my head might explode. Just a lot to process. I made myself a cup of tea, burned some sage, did some yoga, and then the pt guy, Fran came. I rode my bike, we went for a walk, one house further than I did yesterday. Progress. I'll take it.
The ketosis diet is working out really well. I feel good, the recipes have been tasty, and I have been full, which is saying something when you are on steroids. It is nice to be in charge of something again, what I put into my body. Tonight's fun discoveries have been fried cheese and tumeric tea.
Queso Fresco (fried cheese)
Ingredients - 1 lb. Queso Fresco (or Paneer Cheese if Queso Fresco is not available) - 1 Tbsp. Coconut Oil - 1/2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
Instructions 1. Cut cheese into cubes, or thin rectangles. 2. Bring 1 Tbsp. coconut oil and 1/2 Tbsp. olive oil to high heat in a pan. 3. Once the smoke point hits, add your cheese. Let it cook until browned on one side and then flip over and do the same on the other side. 4. Remove from pan and drain excess grease on a paper towel.
and
Tumeric Tea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgF1cnKdcs
Today was not the easiest, but it wasn't the hardest either.
Meanwhile, Die Mother Fucker, Die.
By the time I arrived home, I thought my head might explode. Just a lot to process. I made myself a cup of tea, burned some sage, did some yoga, and then the pt guy, Fran came. I rode my bike, we went for a walk, one house further than I did yesterday. Progress. I'll take it.
The ketosis diet is working out really well. I feel good, the recipes have been tasty, and I have been full, which is saying something when you are on steroids. It is nice to be in charge of something again, what I put into my body. Tonight's fun discoveries have been fried cheese and tumeric tea.
Queso Fresco (fried cheese)
Ingredients - 1 lb. Queso Fresco (or Paneer Cheese if Queso Fresco is not available) - 1 Tbsp. Coconut Oil - 1/2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
Instructions 1. Cut cheese into cubes, or thin rectangles. 2. Bring 1 Tbsp. coconut oil and 1/2 Tbsp. olive oil to high heat in a pan. 3. Once the smoke point hits, add your cheese. Let it cook until browned on one side and then flip over and do the same on the other side. 4. Remove from pan and drain excess grease on a paper towel.
and
Tumeric Tea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgF1cnKdcs
Today was not the easiest, but it wasn't the hardest either.
Meanwhile, Die Mother Fucker, Die.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Introductions first, at least that was the way things used to be...
Hi, I am Cindy.
I am just about 50 years old, divorced and live with my little dog, Henry, and my two cats, Otis and Willie. My daughter thought Willie was a boy when she proudly brought him home to me, and then moved out 8 weeks later, leaving me with the kitten, who turned out to be a girl kitty. That type of stuff happened pretty regularly for me all my life, so that didn't really through me for a loop.
What through me for a loop was February 27, 2015. The day I found out I had brain cancer. Very surreal. Brain Cancer. That's rare, or so I thought. Actually, there are 150 different types of brain cancer. Over 600,000 people live with a brain tumor in the United States. Yep, that word back there was live. Remember that word, I will ask you for it later. Neurology humor
Turns out my tumor is rare. Not incurable, but rare and feisty. I have Abnormal Olgioastrocytoma, grade 3. I had surgery to remove a large portion of the tumor with very little residual damage. I had already lost control of my right leg below the knee, but continue to exercise, walk and stretch it as much as possible. There is some damage to the right arm, might be more of a favoring or protecting, but I am reteaching myself to use it and have not slipped so far away that it is not an attainable goal to regain full use of the arm again.
I am attacking on all sides. Surgery, chemo, radiation, nutrition , prayer and complimentary therapies.
Pre Brain Cancer Ass Kickin Princess Warrior, I was a personal chef and a personal care attendant. I had started my own personal chef business and it was taking off. I loved cooking for people. I will use that same love, care, and concern that I used for each of my clients into my cooking myself back to health. I will be following the ketosis diet that has been found highly effective in stopping the growth of the type of tumor I have in my brain. For more information on that here is http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2012/december/starving-cancer-ketogenic-diet-a-key-to-recovery/
My job now, is to get better. So what was that word I asked you to remember?
Live, that's the word. And that is exactly what I intend to do, live.
I am just about 50 years old, divorced and live with my little dog, Henry, and my two cats, Otis and Willie. My daughter thought Willie was a boy when she proudly brought him home to me, and then moved out 8 weeks later, leaving me with the kitten, who turned out to be a girl kitty. That type of stuff happened pretty regularly for me all my life, so that didn't really through me for a loop.
What through me for a loop was February 27, 2015. The day I found out I had brain cancer. Very surreal. Brain Cancer. That's rare, or so I thought. Actually, there are 150 different types of brain cancer. Over 600,000 people live with a brain tumor in the United States. Yep, that word back there was live. Remember that word, I will ask you for it later. Neurology humor
Turns out my tumor is rare. Not incurable, but rare and feisty. I have Abnormal Olgioastrocytoma, grade 3. I had surgery to remove a large portion of the tumor with very little residual damage. I had already lost control of my right leg below the knee, but continue to exercise, walk and stretch it as much as possible. There is some damage to the right arm, might be more of a favoring or protecting, but I am reteaching myself to use it and have not slipped so far away that it is not an attainable goal to regain full use of the arm again.
I am attacking on all sides. Surgery, chemo, radiation, nutrition , prayer and complimentary therapies.
Pre Brain Cancer Ass Kickin Princess Warrior, I was a personal chef and a personal care attendant. I had started my own personal chef business and it was taking off. I loved cooking for people. I will use that same love, care, and concern that I used for each of my clients into my cooking myself back to health. I will be following the ketosis diet that has been found highly effective in stopping the growth of the type of tumor I have in my brain. For more information on that here is http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2012/december/starving-cancer-ketogenic-diet-a-key-to-recovery/
My job now, is to get better. So what was that word I asked you to remember?
Live, that's the word. And that is exactly what I intend to do, live.
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