Demanding full eviction of this stupid cancer and it's nasty side effects. Yesterday and the day before, I was sick as a dog and my nurse grounded me to the main floor. I am typically a good patient and listen to most of the rules. Both days, I listened and obeyed ALL the rules. There are days you simply have to do that. I have noticed that the sicker I get or the more tired I get the less cognitive I am. I know this happens to people who have not had brain surgery or cancer, but in my case I am really, really out of it. I let them wheel me around the hospital when I went in on Tuesday for my labs and radiation. First time I had been in a wheelchair since I left Fairlawn Rehab Hospital. You would think it might spark some anxiety of some kind, but no. That's how cruddy I felt.
Which brings me to my next point. What does someone who is on a ketosis diet eat when they aren't feeling well? My favorite thing to eat is the Chai Spice Mug Cake. The closest thing to a grain based texture. I supposed if you poured it into an microwavable oblong small loaf pan it could be sliced into slices and toasted now that I think about it.
Chai Spice Mug Cake
1 large egg
2 TBSP room temp butter
1 TBSP Stevia
7 drops liquid stevia
1/2 tsp baking powder
4 TBSP almond flour
1 TBSP heavy cream
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp cardamon
1/2 tsp vanilla
Mix it all together well, and microwave for 70 seconds in a mug, microwave safe oversized bowl, or and microwavable container you fancy!
Tastes amazing with freshly made whipped cream, and used as a dessert, or replacing oatmeal in the morning, you can still use whipped cream, after all it is someone's birthday somewhere, right?
The Universe is taking care of me ever so gently. The other day when my mother was visiting we went to WalMart to look for something orange (to complete the colors of the chakras) to put on the deck for the healing garden she made me during her visit. When I run into my good friend Kelly, who works there. We are chatting for a few minutes and I commented on her earrings and how pretty they were. They are the sparkly angels. She took them off right there and put them on me and said "You needed your angels, that is why I wore these today, I was supposed to run into you." Kelly, I wear them always now, I only take them off during radiation, because I have to, but they go on first when I am done.
The old me would not have been so attached to particular items of jewelry. It just wasn't a sentimental side about me that I possessed regarding jewelery. I mean I liked it and I would remember fondly when I wore something who gave it to me. Those types of things. But nothing that I would not take off, besides my wedding ring when I was married. The new me, however is very attached to certain items. The embroidery floss friendship anklet Christine made me last fall at her house as we sat in her room. I was firm in the hospital that they leave it alone. There was no reason for them to touch it. Before that we were mother daughter, after that day, we were friends too.
I have my bracelet from Israel, that my friend Grace brought over there. She took it to all 14 stations of the cross and had it prayed over specifically using my name. She put my name in the Wailing Wall. Every day she was there, she texted me and told me where "we" were going today. So, I was sort of able to go to Israel, even if only for moments, while I was in the hospital. It was a good vacation for me, I could go to the text at any time during the day and imagine Grace and I with hooked elbows, hats and sunglasses exploring the Holy Land together. When she got home, she came to see me the first weekend I was home, and brought the bracelet to me, showed me many pictures of where "we" went and put the bracelet on. It does not come off.
The new me also wears a beautiful necklace, even during treatment. The technician figured a way for me to keep it on. This comes from my dear friend, Suzy. We have been friends for a long time. Although we do not live close, our hearts are knit together with love, laughter and experiences. We had our children on alternating years, so my youngest two are stepping stones to her two children. She was in my wedding. We learned a lot about cooking together with our trials and errors. Suzy sent me the most beautiful purple (light), swarvarski (sp?) crystal and silver necklace with a charm of a dove and the word strength. I cried when I opened it. Heck, I almost cry at it everytime I look at it.
My other bracelets I will not take off right now are three Alex and Ani bracelets. One of them is a crown! Not even a tiara, a full blown crown. This came from my friend Deb. Deb and I met through our mutual friend, Maura. Deb and I are swearing sisters when we all go out together. They put us two close together at the table, cause we call a spade a spade, and giggle all the time while we are doing it. That's right, Mother Fucker, I got the crown, I am QUEEN of this domicile and I am ordering you OUT! You heard me, OUT!
The other is a phoenix that my mom had sent me last summer to encourage me to rise out of the ashes and recreate myself. Now is the most poignant time to hold onto that image. The third is a heart, also from my mom, kind of like her being there to hold my hand and keep me calm while I am on that radiation table. I fucking hate that mask, but only 7 more days.
My last bracelet comes from Christine as well. She gave it to me this past Christmas. It is one of those highest and lowest point bracelets. It has water from Mt. Everest and sand from the Dead Sea. It is supposed to provide you with a sense of balance and harmony. I look at it when I am feeling gross and remember that this is a moment in time. It will pass. There are so many more good times before and yet to be had and stories to be told.
Look for miracles, they are all around you.
Sending much love, peace and light
Cindy
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